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sprezzatech blog #000D

Dirty South Supercomputers and Waffles
UNIX, HPC, cyberwarfare, and chasing perf in Atlanta.

Wanna be a high-tech CEO?
Mon, 24 Sep 2012 09:42:05 -0400


Sprezzatech is in need of a chief executive officer cum director of marketing cum director of sales cum safe driver. Someone who can talk on the phone without uncontrollable twitching. Someone who can be counted on not to bring offensive odors into meetings. Someone who can be counted on, indeed, to remember the dates of said meetings, and attend them. Someone who can determine what local, state and federal statutes and regulations we've been unwittingly violating before actual regulatory agencies do so. Someone who knows how we can avoid being sued by Apple before the bombs are in place. Essentially, someone upon whom I can foist all the touchy-feely non-technical details of running this operation.

Preferably, we will be hiring a female candidate, since there's quite enough masculine influence and perspective at this company already. That said, male candidates are still encouraged to apply (this paragraph might well be one of those regulatory violations I mentioned earlier. Should that be the case, please note as much on your application for bonus points.)

Compensation will, sadly, hardly be competitive. We want someone for whom this will be their first major job, someone young enough to throw themselves wholly into it, someone inquisitive and quick and perceptive enough to learn on the fly without any in-company mentoring resources, someone hungry enough to take my engineering and make sure it flies. In exchange, you will have the chance to learn, do, see and know infinitely more than you would in some shit inside sales job, calling sadsack assholes to sell them garbage for which they know nothing but contempt. You will run, in all senses save long-term mission and short-term engineering, every aspect of a bleeding-edge technology startup. You will own a chunk of it, which might turn into something worth more than you could right now hope. I want someone who dreams big, big enough to contain my own flights of fancy, fits of abstraction, and furor scribendi.

We will expect and understand mistakes and oversights. We're all learning how to run a company as we go along, and you'll be doing the same. What will not be tolerated is anything less than the total effort, any failure to internalize
“Because, privileged gentlemen and boys I am saying, is always something that is too. Cold. Hot. Wet and dry. Very bright sun and you see the purple dots. Very bright hot and you have no salt. Outside is wind, the insects which like the sweat. Inside is smell of heaters, echo, being jammed in together, tarp is overclose to baseline, not enough of room, bells inside clubs which ring the hour loudly to distract, clunk of machines vomiting sweet cola for coins. Inside roof too low for the lob. Bad lighting, so. Or outside: the bad surface. Oh no look no: crabgrass in cracks along baseline. Who could give the total, with crabgrass. Look here is low net high net. Opponent’s relatives heckle, opponent cheats, linesman in semifinal is impaired or cheats. You hurt. You have the injury. Bad knee and back. Hurt groin area from not stretching as asked. Aches of elbow. Eyelash in eye. The throat is sore. A too pretty girl in audience, watching. Who could play like this? Big crowd overwhelming or too small to inspire. Always something.

“...So. Second world without cold or purple dots of bright for you is 23.8 meters, 8 I think .2 meters. Yes? In what world is joy because there is shelter of something else, of purpose past sluggardly self and complaints about discomfort. You have a chance to occur, playing. No? To make for you this second world that is always the same: there is in this world you, and in the hand a tool, there is a ball, there is opponent with his tool, and always only two of you, you and this other, inside the lines, with always a purpose to keep this world alive, yes? This second world inside the lines. Yes? Is this adjusting? This is not adjusting. This is not adjusting to ignore cold and wind and tired. Not ignoring “as if.” IS no cold. IS no wind. No cold wind where you occur. No? Not “adjust to conditions.” Make this second world inside the world: here there are no conditions.”

“So put a lid on it about the fucking cold.”
Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
this opportunity, to define yourself by it, to lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, &c &c. When I started my first company, at 20, I dropped out of school and began 5 years of unceasing 100+ hour workweeks. It was only through that effort that I was able to acquire experience that would normally come with time, experience necessary to catch up and start beating other, larger, better-funded competitors. By the time I left that company, three people had become a hundred. Ten years later, that company is making over a million dollars per quarter, and has maintained (to the best of my knowledge) a close-knit, elitist approach to assembling an engineering team.

It was, without a doubt, the best time of my life or any life I can fathom.

It's very rare that you have the chance to, by yourself, change the lives of a great many people, summon up value from nothing, or create real effects by exertion of the imagination. We're going to have tremendous fun, and beat some big names at their own games. You'll have the delicious pleasure of being on the team that's always kicking everyone else's ass. Know that I am not putting my own (rather extremely successful) career on hold for several of my prime years so that I can dick around. We're going to be like big bags of bricks falling out of the sky onto the unwary. Join us! Taste victory!

Sprezzatech is on track to pull in nearly half a million dollars per partnered engineer this year. We will be expanding rapidly next year, and raise additional capital via a SCOR offering. This is a very real deal. We are going to do some exciting, crazy, unorthodox things, and surprise the hell out of some people. We'll exploit our agility, audacity, aggressiveness and acumen to justify our arrogance. The word “wafflestomp” will be heard in our strategic discussions. You can work from home, so long as you're willing to work 16 hours a day. Wouldn't you like to be a part of that?

We reject: kings, presidents, and voting.
We believe in: quantification, rough consensus, and running code.
We are committed to: Open Source, the scientific method, and gettin' after dat ass.

Please apply via Feel free, but in no way required, to use encrypted email. Send a résumé/CV/good attendance award, and (more importantly) a one-page summary of your imagined “first 90 days”: what aspects of the organization you'd take over most quickly and most authoritatively, and what you'd do. All submissions will become permanent property of the Sprezzatura Computing Corporation.